Tua’s first win, Chargers throw up on themselves, and helmet-punching Bears are the worst 5-3 team ever

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Tua Tagovailoa got his first win in his first game as the Fins beat the Rams in Week 8.

Tua Tagovailoa got his first win in his first game as the Fins beat the Rams in Week 8.
Image: (AP)

It’s hard to believe that we are already halfway through the 2020 NFL season.

In a season that has been turned upside down by COVID-19, injuries, and terrible play from the NFC East, it seems to be a blessing that we’ve gotten this far.

In honor of making it through Week 8, let’s take a look at some of the biggest takeaways from Sunday’s NFL action.

Rams vs Dolphins

The debut of Tua Tagovailoa was the main focus going into this game. In his first NFL start, the former Alabama star played alright after he fumbled and got WWE body-slammed on his first possession. Tagovailoa would finish the game going 12/22 with 93 yards and a touchdown. However, the story of the day was how the Dolphins defense made Jared Goff look like one of the Rugrats in the pocket on Sunday. In the first half, Goff literally played like he had money on the Dolphins. He had four turnovers in the first half, three of them resulted in touchdowns. Goff looked like the football version of Jackie Moon on Sunday, he threw the ball 60 times…. 60!! Goff ended the game with a QBR of 12.8. It seems interesting that Rams head coach Sean McVay, who used to be regarded as the next great offensive mastermind, can’t get his Sunshine look-alike QB to play better this season. Goff looks like he eats a box of Wheat Thins before taking the field. He’s been a middle of the pack quarterback for the majority of this season, and has yet to take that step to superstar status that the Rams need from him to compete in the NFC West.

Chargers vs Broncos

Can someone please tell me how the Chargers continue to give up double digit leads almost every single game? I would genuinely like to know, cause they’ve had more opportunities to be successful than Lori Loughlin’s children and just continue to fold. If you haven’t seen it by now, the Chargers gave up a 21-point third quarter lead in Denver to Drew Lock and the Broncos before losing on Lock’s game-winning touchdown pass to KJ Hamler. The Chargers’ last four games have all seen their leads of 16 points evaporate, three of these games have not resulted in L’s for the Bolts. The Chargers and the Atlanta Cockatoos seemed to be in a neck and neck competition to see who can lose the most winnable games this season. Luckily, the whole world will likely get a lesson on how to not close games when the Chargers and Atlanta Woodpeckers meet in Week 14. For the Chargers specifically, I’m not sure what is the main cause of their meltdowns, in the Philip Rivers era you could blame a lot of it on turnovers and just horrendous decision making but with Justin Herbert behind center that seems to have improved. Maybe some organizations are just destined to fail? Was it ever in the cards for the Chargers to be really good?

Who knows. All I know is if the Chargers give up another double-digit lead this season they will endure the same treatment that the Dodo Birds from the 404 have earned.

Saints vs Bears

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 5-3 team as trash as the Chicago Bears. They can’t run the ball consistently, they can’t make deep connections in the passing game, they don’t really have a QB that scares anyone, and they have a play-caller who has the offensive genius of a celery stick. I will say that the Bears defense is legit and has some playmakers, but even they couldn’t stop an aging Drew Brees, who has the arm strength of pasta noodle, from putting up 26 points on them. There were times in that game where the Bears offense was so stagnant that I thought Mitchell Trubisky was the only hope for their offense. Do you know how bad you have to be to think Mitchell Trubisky is going to be a difference-maker in your offense?? It got so bad that it literally could have forced some Chicago players to go insane. Just look at wide receiver Javon Wims, who two-pieced C.J. Gardner-Johnson in the middle of the game for apparently no reason. Wims gave the business to Gardner-Johnson when he probably should have been slapping head coach Matt Nagy for calling plays like a middle school PE coach. Kudos to Gardner-Johnson for eating both of those hits by Wims and looking at him like he had lost his mind cause clearly, he had. All in all the Saints look the way we expect them to look outside of Brees, they got a nice win in Chicago against a very oatmeal raisin-esque Bears team.

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